Ugly-Ass Mushroom Soup

Today I got bored/hungry and decided to come up with a new recipe. I had a pack of portobellos in the fridge and an unhealthy obsession with my hand-blender…


…and the end result was this unappetizingly-brown but very tasty mushroom soup.


So, leaving all Freudian implications about my hand-blender love aside, I’ll tell you how I made it.

+ 3 stalks celery
+ 2 carrots
+ 1 onion
+ 2 cloves garlic
+ 2 sun-dried tomatoes (in olive oil)
+ 1 tablespoon butter
+ 6 mini Portobello mushrooms (give or take)
+ water
+ 1 cup skim milk*
+ salt and pepper to taste
1. Peel your carrot, onions, and garlic, then roughly dice them and the celery
2. Slice mushrooms thinly
3. Place the chopped vegetables (but not the mushrooms) in a pot with the butter and two sun-dried tomatoes, saute on a medium heat until onions are clear
4. Add the mushrooms and continue to cook until the mushrooms are cooked (about 5 minutes)
5. Add enough water to cover the vegetables, then put lid on the pot and let the water boil
6. Turn down the heat, then add the milk
7. Take the pot off the stove, then use the hand-blender to puree the mixture until it becomes a nice a chunky mushroom-soup texture
8. Add salt and pepper to taste

Calories: I don’t freakin’ know, it’s cooking not physics

*I used skim milk since I ran out of regular, but go ahead and use regular for a creamier fattier taste, you pig.

I kinda just guesstimated the amount of milk to put in (I mean, who actually measures thing?), so maybe you can try blending the soup first before adding milk bit by bit until the color looks right to you or you run out of milk.

So there you go. Tell your friends. Eat soup. Or don’t. I don’t care.