2

Edible Brown Goop

Also known as 5-minute chocolate banananana oatmeal. I promise it’s not shit(ty).

Hah. Hah. Okay I’m done.

Ingredients:
+ 2 tbsp rolled oats
+ 0.5 cup almond milk*
+ 2 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
+ 3 tsp sugar or sweetener equivalent
+ 0.25 tsp vanilla extract (optional)
+ 1 banana
Instructions:
1. Mix oats, almond milk, cocoa powder, sweetener in a ceramic bowl
2. Microwave for ~30 sec, remove and stir, microwave for another 1 min.
3. Add half a banana, mash as desired, microwave for 30 sec.
4. Add vanilla extract and other spices as desired, mix.
5. Top with remaining half of banana.

Calories: 220 per serving for 1 serving (calculated without sugar).

*Use less if you want a thicker oatmeal, etc.

*Also: I used reduced sugar almond milk, FYI.

Ain’t nobody got time to cook properly in college. Thank god for microwaves.

I was going to take a picture but someone distracted me and I mushed it up. Oops

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7

Cake So Bitter It Hates You

(Adapted from this recipe, at Foodie Fiasco. That blog is pretty amazeballs.)

This is also my favorite thing right now, whatever that says about me. If you like ridiculously dark chocolate, you’ll probably like this. In fact, I think all the non-chocolate ingredients in this recipe exist only to keep the chocolate bits stuck together, otherwise you’d just be snorting cocoa.

Ingredients:
+ 3 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
+ 2 tbsp cinnamon applesauce
+ 3 tbsp almond milk
+ 1/4 tsp vanilla extract
+ 1/4 tsp baking powder
+ 1 egg white
Instructions:
1. Preheat oven to 190 Celsius or 375 Fahrenheit.
2. Mix ingredients in listed order, adding egg white when well-mixed.
3. Pour into baking dish of choice*.
4. Bake for 20-30 mins, depending on baking dish.

Calories: 100

*Note: I’ve made this with two different dishes. One was 20cm diameter, and the batter became 0.5cm thick. It was dry and probably a tiny bit burnt, not that that made a difference. The one I’m using now has a 9cm diameter, and the batter became 6cm thick. The top is beautiful, but the bottom is too wet. I’m working on that.

Also, I don’t own a microwave. The last time I tried to use one, they had to evacuate the building.

If you want to skimp on the baking, figure that out yourself.

 

The layout makes them look like boobs. There, I said it.

– Aims