1

Salty Greens

Literally the easiest and the most delicious thing ever. Will eat entire bowl(s) of this. Entire. Goddamn. Bowls.

Ingredients:
+ 4 cups cabbage*
+ 1 tsp oil
+ Salt to taste
+ Soy sauce to taste
Instructions:
1. Chop cabbage into thin, half finger-length strips
2. Heat wok/pan on high, add 1 tsp oil
3. Stir fry cabbage until noticeably soft but probably not browning
4. Turn heat to medium-low, add salt**
5. Add tiny bit of soy sauce (~0.25 tsp)
6. Remove from pan and consume.

* Or 3 cups cabbage and 1 cup kale, or like add a tomato, or whatever. Tomato will make it more sour.

** I have a small salt shaker, and I shake it ~20 times with four tiny holes open

Calories: 150 cal

Eat it on its own, with another flavorful dish, with rice, whatever. I paired it with brown rice and it could probably do with some heavier flavoring (sweet chili sauce? Sriracha? Char siu sauce? Bulgogi? Omg mmm bulgogi), but overall 10/10 would make and eat again. Which is good because I need to rid myself of a huge bunch of kale. And cabbage.

0

My Sprouts Look Muddy

Because it’s winter and I like fall vegetables and why have brussels sprouts never been a part of my childhood? Clearly I have to eat ridiculous amounts of it to make up for lost time.

Ingredients:
+ 4 cups brussels sprouts
+ 1 tbsp + 1 tsp balsamic vinegar
+ 1 tbsp olive oil
+ 3 tsp maple syrup
+ Salt and pepper to taste
+ Garlic to taste
Instructions:
1. Preheat oven to 400 F.
2. Wash and chop brussels sprouts in half. Put in oven-safe dish.
3. Mix with 1 tbsp vinegar, 1 tbsp oil, salt, pepper, garlic to taste.
4. Roast in oven at 400 F for 30 mins, mixing again at 15 mins.
5. Remove from oven. Mix with 3 tsp maple syrup and 1 tsp vinegar.
6. Add additional seasonings if desired.

Calories: 340cal

I had the entire baking dish full of sprouts for my nighttime snack / fourth meal and went to bed happy and extremely full and extremely proud of myself.

2

Edible Brown Goop

Also known as 5-minute chocolate banananana oatmeal. I promise it’s not shit(ty).

Hah. Hah. Okay I’m done.

Ingredients:
+ 2 tbsp rolled oats
+ 0.5 cup almond milk*
+ 2 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
+ 3 tsp sugar or sweetener equivalent
+ 0.25 tsp vanilla extract (optional)
+ 1 banana
Instructions:
1. Mix oats, almond milk, cocoa powder, sweetener in a ceramic bowl
2. Microwave for ~30 sec, remove and stir, microwave for another 1 min.
3. Add half a banana, mash as desired, microwave for 30 sec.
4. Add vanilla extract and other spices as desired, mix.
5. Top with remaining half of banana.

Calories: 220 per serving for 1 serving (calculated without sugar).

*Use less if you want a thicker oatmeal, etc.

*Also: I used reduced sugar almond milk, FYI.

Ain’t nobody got time to cook properly in college. Thank god for microwaves.

I was going to take a picture but someone distracted me and I mushed it up. Oops

3

Pumpkin Goop

Now combine the two words together. Ha.

Ingredients:
+ 0.25 cup rolled oats
+ 0.5 cup water
+ 0.25 cup almond milk
+ 0.5 cup pumpkin puree
+ 3 tsp sugar or sweetener equivalent
+ 0.25 tsp vanilla extract
+ Pumpkin spice
+ Cinnamon
Instructions:
1. Pour oats, water, sweetener into a ceramic bowl, microwave for ~ 3 mins
2. Stir in almond milk of choice, microwave for ~ 1 min
3. Stir in pumpkin puree, microwave for 30 sec
4. Add vanilla extract, pumpkin spice, and cinnamon*, mix.

Calories: 220 per serving for 1 serving

* As much as you desire. Or other spices too.

Hot breakfast or lunch or snack! And it takes like five minutes. You’re welcome. There’s no photo to accompany this one because I also ate it in five minutes.

0

Actually Edible Apple Crumble

HUGE SUCCESS! Edible for people with normal standards (*most things are edible to me. Like my own cooking). I’ve been having this for breakfast two days in a row now, which really says something considering my laziness and the fact that this takes an hour of my life to make.

(Recipe modified from this post.)

Ingredients (Version 1):
+ 1 chopped apple
+ 2 tbsp almond milk*
+ 0.5 tsp vanilla
+ 0.5 tsp cinnamon
+ 1 tbsp greek yogurt
+ 2 tsp sugar
+ 3 tbsp quick oats**
+ 2 tsp flour
+ 1 tsp melted soy margarine
Instructions (Version 1):
1. Mix first six ingredients together and toss.
2. Mix last three ingredients together.
3. Combine and mix all ingredients.
4. Bake at 175 Celsius for 25 mins.***
5. Bake at 195 Celsius for 5-10 mins.
6. Leave in oven for 10 mins.

Calories: 235

* Or milk of your choice

** Add more to preference, I take no responsibility

*** Note: I used a 20cm diameter ceramic baking dish.

Ingredients (Version 2):
+ 0.5 chopped apple
+ 0.5 sliced banana
+ 0.5 tsp vanilla
+ 0.5 tsp cinnamon
+ 1 tbsp greek yogurt
+ 1 tsp stevia (substitute sugar)
+ 4 tbsp quick oats
+ 2 tsp flour
+ 1 tbsp applesauce
Instructions (Version 2):
1. Mix first six ingredients together and toss.
2. Mix last three ingredients together.
3. Combine and mix all ingredients.
4. Bake at 175 Celsius for 25 mins.
5. Bake at 195 Celsius for 5 mins.
6. Leave in oven for 10 mins.

Calories: 200

For some reason this second version became slightly too brown/charred when baked at ~200 C for 10 minutes, so 5 should probably do the trick.

Either way, this is parent-tested and approved to the point where they ate it voluntarily, which happens almost never.

TL;DR will not regret, this is good, do it now.

.

– Aims